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If like bubbles I could float in the air;
like stars I could dominate the night;
like lilies I could grace the grass,
then what could I do like love?
If the colour of rose is red and the skies are blue;
The robe of her majesty is purple and her crown is gold;
then what is the colour of love?
If the neck is the place of diamond;
the finger is the place of the ring;
the lips are the place of a kiss,
then where is the place of love?
Love is a therapy that we undergo not usually when we fall in love but when we fall out of love. Many broken hearted believe in the saying that “first cut is the deepest” (courtesy Rod Steward) –meaning there can’t be another love like the very first; likewise another heartbreak like the first. I believe they are wrong because you can never experience the best of love. Love is like an astral travel along the universe; a flight into the space of stars across the planets. It is a mystery journey of passion with no caution and no reason because it is no more love when there is a reason for love. Into the course of love is an endless journey as love can never be stagnant. Love either increases or reduces.
Have you ever been in love? I can’t forget my first true love even though she was not the best of them all. How many times have you been in love? Love is sweet, yet sours; it’s like chocolate but sometimes taste like coffee. Love is pleasurable but capable of hurt. Love is a medication that heals but sometimes could poison. Many lives are made of love; yes I have seen lives taken away of love. Love is beautiful, handsome, attractive, wonderful, gorgeous, gracious, glorious, pleasant, exquisite, stunning and tasty. The sweet side of love is what we usually talk about. But there is the other side of love that we mostly experience in secret. The side of love we don’t like to talk about for we have no clue that love has the capability to mutate: It is enigmatic –a mystery that could bring miseries. Love can turn the charming prince into an ugly monster and even snow white into the witch before the magic mirror. Love is a double edged sword.
Here are few of the bible’s definition and expression of love:
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).
Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law (John 13:10).
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law (Galatians 5:23).
My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18).
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him (1 John 4:16).
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18).
These attributes of love are the expected scriptural ethics. But in physical practice love manifest similarly and also quite differently.
Love has many symptoms, some of which are admiration, attraction, adrenaline pumping, captivation, curiosity, desire, possession, obsession and jealousy. Love is good but some of it’s symptoms if not all needs to be kept under control. Admiring and getting attracted to an opposite sex is not enough as proof of love until you start feeling jealous of his or her activities with the opposite gender.
Jealousy is good –it is the true text of love. It is good to feel jealous but not to be jealous. A jealous feeling is a vital factor in the realization and actualization of success in any relationship. Some men are un-
I was once in love with a pretty young lady called Peju while in college about two decades ago. I remember when I first met her. I was like in a queue trying to make a purchase when someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. I looked back thinking it was one of my friends but wow: I cannot forget her stunning innocent eyes. While I went dazed like drooling she said: hey, you helped me yesterday, thanks. I couldn’t figure out when or where and as I was wondering how I could have helped an angel like you and just let you walk away she said: you gave me a lift, from South Campus. Oh now I understand: in college, I am “Mr. Nice Guy”. I lift fellow students in my car from the South Campus every morning, on route to North Campus where I attend lecture. Peju must have been one of them but I noticed her not.
Peju is pretty, nice and wonderful; I had a very good thing going with her. I was fast becoming the pride of her world, to the envy of her friends. You know when you start feeling at home at the place of your girl; it was such until Peju decided to take our relationship to the next level. I guess she has been watching and checking on me for quite some time but getting at nothing funny. Back in school I use to be the mystery guy –a smooth operator. Perhaps Peju could not phantom exactly who I was, so she took a chance just to be very sure. She tried a game most ladies play to see what they want in their man: the “get jealous” game. This they do in collaboration with their female friends: they set you up by placing a male friend of theirs, to making advances or overtures towards her, before you. This is to keep you curious; wondering if anything funny is going on between her and the other guy. The motive is to see how deep in love you are into them. The idea is: if you get jealous and react jealously, you have passed her test; she comes begging and settling with you thereby clarifying her stance. But if you do not get jealous or you are jealous but won’t react jealously, you are in for a bigger trouble like you are not expecting.
Ladies don’t easily give up on the men they truly love. This game might continue on and on until the ego of the man in question is cracked to the point of exhibiting his jealousy. On the other hand the lady gives up and sorrow away from the life of the stubborn headed man she had hoped would be her “prince charming. I wish I was man enough then, to understand that the jealous factor is a satisfactory need for ladies’ to confirm a sure position in a love relationship. Unfortunately, the egoistic attitude of a grown boy, trying to become a man won’t let me. I would have just given Peju what she needed. “Get jealous” was all she wanted and that was not too much to give. Peju sorrowed away from our relationship and I have myself to blame each time I remember her. I still remember the very sad mood I left her but I was too much of a boy to understand what I can see now as a man. The point in telling my short history with Peju is to make aware that there is a positive side to getting jealous in all love relationship. Getting jealous is a sign that love is developing its root in your heart for the one you own. But always keep it in mind that to get jealous is different from being a jealous person. For the records: Peju is happily married the last time I heard of her about a decade ago and so am I.
To be continued…
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